stimie.net

Classy Homeless

stimbus — Wed, 16 May 2012 12:43:03 +0000

I took that trash out back and there was a homeless guy washing himself with our garden hose. I just ignored him because he really wasn’t causing a problem. On the way back in the guy whistled at me. I looked and he had the garden hose between his legs pretending to jack off with it. He then said, “I steal your water, what are you going to do about that? Yeah you better walk back inside because this is my water now.” A few minutes later he walked into the shop and acted like he had never seen me before. He asked if we had any used laptops for sale.

Standard conversations with the average person.

stimbus — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 15:54:28 +0000

Just now the mail man came in and handed me our mail. He looked at a small form factor usb wifi adapter hanging in the package next to the service department window. The wifi adapter looks like this.

In a very angry tone he asks if it was a bluetooth adapter. I told him it was a wifi adapter not a bluetooth adapter. He gets upset and says, “What the fuck? I don’t get why this isn’t bluetooth.” After telling him that I can get a bluetooth adapter that looks just like that I asked him, “What are you trying to accomplish? Why do you want a bluetooth adapter?” He said, “I don’t know, I don’t even know what bluetooth is. Fuck this place.” The threw the wifi adapter on the floor and walked out.

Who raised this woman?

stimbus — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 14:51:57 +0000

My morning started out by me coming in from the back. My boss asked me to help this woman. She looked very ill and angry. My boss nudges me and says “Don’t worry she won’t bite.” Sure enough when I asked her if there was anything we could help her with she turned around and bit me.

School System Failure

stimbus — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 18:58:25 +0000

I just gave a woman her change and realized we were out of five dollar bills. No problem I though, I gave her five, one dollar bills instead. Little did I know this would cause a problem. I had to spend 30 minutes explaining to this woman that five, one dollar bills is worth the same amount as a five dollar bill and she could not get a five dollar bill because we are out at the moment.

She explained she will never come back and is dissatisfied with out money.

Get it together buddy.

stimbus — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 15:20:00 +0000

I was having a conversation with a customer the other day. During our conversation he asked, “If I don’t understand something does that mean I won’t be able to fix it?”

Later on he sneezed, and similar to a 4 year old he had a huge string of snot from his hand to his nose. He just wiped it on his shirt and carried on like there wasn’t a huge glob of snot smeared on his shirt.

He ended his conversation with me by asking where a place to receive mail was. Not email, a place where you get “paper letters” and boxes.

Update

stimbus — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 23:22:59 +0000

I haven’t abandoned this site!

What I’ve been working on is turning these stories into a book. I feel like it could do well as a book. I may be wrong and it may or may not materialize but it’s something I decided I wanted to do. I’m currently going back over all these stories and doing grammar corrections and fixing other mistakes. I kind of flew threw a lot of these when I wrote them. I also should have paid attention to my English teachers over the years instead of napping in class.

The book will have more of my experiences in computer repair that won’t be on the site. Hopefully in a month or two I will be ready to look for a publisher or whatever you have to do to get a book publish. It should be an interesting experience.

I have more experiences to add to this site as well so no need to worry. New weird stuff is happening everyday.

Thanks for reading.

Wrong Usage

stimbus — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 15:18:41 +0000

A woman just left here upset because we wouldn’t take back a used can of compressed air. She complained that it burned her nose and throat when she tried to clean her teeth with it. She then wanted to know if we could come out to her house and install a camera in her 15 year old stereo that doesn’t work anymore. After rambling on about how she’d pay us to rake her yard she asked again if we’d take back the canned air that she used half of in an attempt to clean her teeth.

Sorry, I’m none of those people.

stimbus — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 23:16:30 +0000

After spending most of an hour just looking at the different cables we have hanging on a very small rack. The guy turns to me and says, “Timothy, is your name Alex?”

Ketchup Face Strikes Again

stimbus — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 18:55:43 +0000

A guy with ketchup smeared all over his face and a tater tot stuck to his collar walked in today. He asked if we could activate his phone. I explained that we do computer repair and really don’t work with cell phones. He then started to back towards the door while asking me where the nearest animal shelter was. I told where it was and he backed out the door with a very strange look on his face shaking his head no. When the door shut he howled like a wolf before he got on his moped and rode off.

Advice

stimbus — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 13:39:42 +0000

A guy walked in yesterday before we closed. He asked a few computer related questions. Then out of nowhere he said, “I need you to know this, it’s not just about making bubbles come out of the fake tobacco pipe when you blow on it. It’s about blowing a bubble or two out of your mouth after you’ve pulled the pipe out to impress the ladies.”