stimie.net

I took that trash out back and there was a homeless guy washing himself with our garden hose. I just ignored him because he really wasn’t causing a problem. On the way back in the guy whistled at me. I looked and he had the garden hose between his legs pretending to jack off with it. He then said, “I steal your water, what are you going to do about that? Yeah you better walk back inside because this is my water now.” A few minutes later he walked into the shop and acted like he had never seen me before. He asked if we had any used laptops for sale.

A guy of possible homeless status opened the door and stuck his head in. He screamed, “Hey, listen to me!” I turned abruptly to see what the guy was going to do. As soon as I look at him he says, “If you said hello to the world, would the world say hello back? Think about that shit.”

Shortly after I first started this job a guy came into work dressed kind of like the Abu Ghraib prisoner with the black pancho thing. Apparently flossing wasn’t in this man’s vocabulary since he only had one tooth and it stunk the service department up when he talked. It smelled just like he’d been snacking on a turd. He comes up to the counter and before I could turn around and see who was there he scared the crap out of me by just screaming. Then at the top of his lungs he screams, “The purple lighting crashes down on your soul. You protect your life with the skin of a fox.” The then started rambling on about how the Bible was Ajax for the soul. My boss pushed him out the door after asking him to leave. Right before he went out the door he screamed, “The eyeball sees your lies.” A few months later he was arrested for exposing himself to one of the vet’s employees that used to work at the next door.