Poor old man just wanted fellatio.

About 2 or 3 years ago an old man came into our store. He didn’t like the way my boss looked or sounded so he started asking him if he was gay in a very disrespectful way. My boss got upset and kicked the guy out. Yesterday the guy came back into work asking to speak to my boss. My boss didn’t remember him so he treated this guy like any other customer. The old man pulled his penis out and asked my boss to put it in his mouth. My boss punched the man in the face and the rest of the afternoon was spent talking to the cops.

Who’s to say it’s not true.

A very not-clean guy came into work before closing yesterday. He seemed very bothered by something and had difficulty articulating his thoughts. After around 10 minutes of frustratingly trying to explain something he finally gives up. He just looks at me with the most serious look on his face and says, “I’m learning things that will blow your fucking mind man. Things that would make you question if your Mother is really your Mom and if the sea is really blue. You just gotta understand where I’m coming from.” He then left me a business card which didn’t belong to him and was from another business in the same strip mall and walked out the door mumbling to himself.

 

Classy Homeless

I took that trash out back and there was a homeless guy washing himself with our garden hose. I just ignored him because he really wasn’t causing a problem. On the way back in the guy whistled at me. I looked and he had the garden hose between his legs pretending to jack off with it. He then said, “I steal your water, what are you going to do about that? Yeah you better walk back inside because this is my water now.” A few minutes later he walked into the shop and acted like he had never seen me before. He asked if we had any used laptops for sale.

Standard conversations with the average person.

Just now the mail man came in and handed me our mail. He looked at a small form factor usb wifi adapter hanging in the package next to the service department window. The wifi adapter looks like this.

In a very angry tone he asks if it was a bluetooth adapter. I told him it was a wifi adapter not a bluetooth adapter. He gets upset and says, “What the fuck? I don’t get why this isn’t bluetooth.” After telling him that I can get a bluetooth adapter that looks just like that I asked him, “What are you trying to accomplish? Why do you want a bluetooth adapter?” He said, “I don’t know, I don’t even know what bluetooth is. Fuck this place.” The threw the wifi adapter on the floor and walked out.

Who raised this woman?

My morning started out by me coming in from the back. My boss asked me to help this woman. She looked very ill and angry. My boss nudges me and says “Don’t worry she won’t bite.” Sure enough when I asked her if there was anything we could help her with she turned around and bit me.

School System Failure

I just gave a woman her change and realized we were out of five dollar bills. No problem I though, I gave her five, one dollar bills instead. Little did I know this would cause a problem. I had to spend 30 minutes explaining to this woman that five, one dollar bills is worth the same amount as a five dollar bill and she could not get a five dollar bill because we are out at the moment.

She explained she will never come back and is dissatisfied with out money.

Get it together buddy.

I was having a conversation with a customer the other day. During our conversation he asked, “If I don’t understand something does that mean I won’t be able to fix it?”

Later on he sneezed, and similar to a 4 year old he had a huge string of snot from his hand to his nose. He just wiped it on his shirt and carried on like there wasn’t a huge glob of snot smeared on his shirt.

He ended his conversation with me by asking where a place to receive mail was. Not email, a place where you get “paper letters” and boxes.

Update

I haven’t abandoned this site!

What I’ve been working on is turning these stories into a book. I feel like it could do well as a book. I may be wrong and it may or may not materialize but it’s something I decided I wanted to do. I’m currently going back over all these stories and doing grammar corrections and fixing other mistakes. I kind of flew threw a lot of these when I wrote them. I also should have paid attention to my English teachers over the years instead of napping in class.

The book will have more of my experiences in computer repair that won’t be on the site. Hopefully in a month or two I will be ready to look for a publisher or whatever you have to do to get a book publish. It should be an interesting experience.

I have more experiences to add to this site as well so no need to worry. New weird stuff is happening everyday.

Thanks for reading.

Wrong Usage

A woman just left here upset because we wouldn’t take back a used can of compressed air. She complained that it burned her nose and throat when she tried to clean her teeth with it. She then wanted to know if we could come out to her house and install a camera in her 15 year old stereo that doesn’t work anymore. After rambling on about how she’d pay us to rake her yard she asked again if we’d take back the canned air that she used half of in an attempt to clean her teeth.

Sorry, I’m none of those people.

After spending most of an hour just looking at the different cables we have hanging on a very small rack. The guy turns to me and says, “Timothy, is your name Alex?”